Disneyland or bust and maybe a slight amount of batsh$t crazy

In the car driving to California, so excited because I LOVE, LOVE Disney and I am super dooper grateful we are going. It’s the freaking happiest place on earth, what’s not to love about it. However, it’s the drive there that usually puts me into a downward spiral of crazy that only Disney can cure. I love my kids and love being with them but there’s something maddening about being cramped in a car together for 6 hours with no escape. So far I’ve heard screaming, fighting, a few hundred “are we there yets”, “I need a drink”, “I have to go potty”, “the movie isn’t working”, “he’s wiping his snot on me” and many more famous kid backseat quotes. I considered pressing my face against the window and yelling help to the truck drivers but i don’t want anyone to think I’ve been kidnapped. After all I willingly put myself in this situation in a quest to make my little angels happy. I now fully get the famous Clark Griswold meltdown and why he punched the freakin moose when Wally World was closed. If we get to Disney and it is closed I’m busting a cap on a mouse and his whiney girlfriend. Oh dear God here goes the screaming and complaining again as I type this post. They have gone backseat cray cray and we still have another hour in the car. Well, as Clark Griswold said “this is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun… We’re all gonna have so much freakin fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles”. I’m on a pilgrimage to see a mouse, PRAISE MICKEY MOUSE. Where’s the Advil!!!! By the way, I love my family. I wouldn’t want anyone else in the world to drive me to the batsh&t crazy. đŸ™‚

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